Red Night of The Soul
I have not been able to post on this blog for months. I have not been able to do much of what mainstream society calls “work” for two months. My life, my self, my universe has turned inside out and upside down. Down is now Up. But Up is definitely not Down…yet. Sigh. You see, all this cryptic gibberish is why I shouldn’t be posting on Spiritual Cowgirl at this time. A Red Night of the Soul is definitely not entertaining or witty or uplifting. And if I work too hard to explain what is actually going on for me, I take myself out of the experience…and that can’t happen right now. For it is clear to me that I need to be “In It”.
Last week, when I asked the divine what the hell to do about all this mess, I experienced an inner vision. It was that of a massive red velvet curtain - like one that hangs in those old grand theaters – dropping smoothly and quickly down to the floor.
Thud.
Cutting me off from my audience, from the house lights, from the world.
Alone, I slowly turned around in the darkness of my new environment and was immediately embraced by the energy of Her. My Red Lady. And the tears flowed and the heart hiccupped and the mind quieted and I got it.
For now, I need to be with the Divine She of Me. This is a foundational boundary I need to draw and uphold. So, a necessary cocooning, a molting, a shedding of skins (how many insect/animal metaphors can I bring in?), can happen.
And although all this probably sounds awfully dramatic and pretentious, it is where I need to be at this time. No apologies. No exceptions. No compromises.
Until She raises the red velvet curtain again.
Then I will come back to this blog shaking my bloody wings, my dusty mini skirt, and my dirty sense of humor. At you. At myself. At life.
Until then, I wish all who visit this site red bold blessings and red hot love and I thank you for your patience.
July 17th, 2009 at 6:07 pm
Sure, we’ll be here when the red returns
July 17th, 2009 at 11:04 pm
That falling curtian is 1) Time, who waits for no one, not even God who inventerd her. 2) Mortality, related to time and twice a vicious. I didn’t invent the rules, I’m just here to read them to you, sorry. Your curtain will rise, more sober, more carefull. Hey, carefull can still be fun. And that’s just where the planet is at right now. Enjoy it, it’s part of the journey and that counts.
July 18th, 2009 at 10:42 am
holding space for you
have a beautiful experience!
July 19th, 2009 at 11:49 am
Sounds scary…but sometimes things have to get worse before they can start getting better. See you on the other side of that painful rite of passage. Hang in there.
July 20th, 2009 at 11:06 am
The airline attendants tell you that, in case of emergency, you should grab your own oxygen mask and breathe before you help any companion with one. You can’t help someone who needs your help if you’ve passed out from lack of oxygen.
Breathe. Coccoon behind the red curtain. Go through whatever can’t be gone around or subcontracted out, and come back to us when your soul’s gotten all it needs.
Perhaps we should consider this an open thread where we can encourage each other…and you…while you’re recuperating?
July 20th, 2009 at 1:57 pm
This I know for you: All things come along at a time when we can handle them; this too shall pass; you are loved beyond measure by so many who don’t even know you; if you don’t know what to do next, or what needs to be done, or even how you need to proceed, something deep inside of you already knows, and when you are ready, will whisper to your soul.
Love and Light, continuing to flow to you.
July 21st, 2009 at 6:34 am
I understand and that seems to be going around a lot lately! I myself am in the process of moving again ugh but on the up side I get to pack up and decide what goes and what stays so I get to do a bit of “spring cleaning” as it were. I am also in the process of spring cleaning the clutter at home and in my life not sure how it will all turn out but, I do wish everyone out there who is in the “same boat” as I am and you the very best and good luck. Until the red curtain parts for us best wishes.
July 21st, 2009 at 8:46 am
Grandmarme is right. Lots of us who’ve never even met you in meatspace owe you a tremendous hunk of love and gratitude. Everyone you’ve touched with your words, your willingness to dig in the uncomfortable places and share the diggins with us, your inimitable connection to Spirit…well, we’re all thinking really good thoughts for you right now. So you may not be able to see around the next corner at the moment. You will, when it’s time, and I’d bet a garbage bag full of Godivas that you’ll find magnificence and insight and joy and purpose and wonder when you do.
Safe travels, kiddo. Wear your sunscreen.
July 21st, 2009 at 7:23 pm
Love and Light to you!
July 22nd, 2009 at 8:12 am
see you soon, sera. good luck and worry not that you are coming back. you are fixing something.
July 24th, 2009 at 5:53 am
Bless you in this process!
July 24th, 2009 at 9:35 am
Sending you peace, love and juicy, ripe, rich, red insights. Looking forward to seeing you again when the curtain rises. Until then be well and present.
July 24th, 2009 at 7:27 pm
Sending Love and Light to you.
August 6th, 2009 at 10:59 am
Your Red Book has saved my spiritual life. Words cannot express the gratitude I feel toward you. I wish you peace and a sassy angel to guide you through your red night.
Many Blessings Sera… you’ve earned them!
I’ll send some good vibes your way too.
August 27th, 2009 at 8:47 am
Blessings to you while you shroud yourself in transformation…
August 27th, 2009 at 9:27 am
I had a dream that I will maybe share with you if/when I see you again. I could send an email but the Universe has been shaking many trees this year, I see, and I am surrounded by country. Who knew how right I’d be when I called this year in its dawnings?
We all learn to walk again.
May 19th, 2010 at 7:17 pm
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