Silly Monkey
This is how my ex boyfriend tells the story:
“We were driving peacefully along the gorgeous California 1 highway, winding our way down the stunning pacific coast from SF to the delicious Bonny Doon winery for a romantic 4th or 5th date (hard to tell when the dates turn into nights turn into days), when a bug suddenly smashed against the windshield.
My sweet new girlfriend asked: “What do you think was the last thing that ran through that bug’s mind?” I shook my head, thinking my mystically-wired girlfriend must have some profound spiritual answer, when she suddenly sputters:
“His ASS!!!!” And keels over laughing so hard I thought she was going to pass out.”
Yeah, I’ll admit that my sense of humor often resembles that of a 10 year old boy or a very drunk monkey, which is not so much of an issue unless I’m around certain “spiritually-correct people” (you must read “spiritually-correct people” with a deep, serious, low inner voice).
Case in point. I’ve just returned from two months of travels and a long stay on the East Coast where I gave a few workshops and talks (hence my lack of posts, which I truly apologize for! I will be home for the next few months and making sure to blog more often I promise).
A few days before one of my talks, the head of the spiritual group described his audience to me as “really smart, literate, progressive, and practical”.
“Hmmmm…” I pondered… these adjectives can be tough to tickle.
Sure enough, within the first five minutes of my talk, after I said something that always guaranteed a laugh in past experiences, the response from the room was… dead silence. The type of silence that swallows you whole and then spits you out again just to swallow you in pieces…again. Not even a snicker leaked out in the 70 plus room. You could hear crickets, or taxi’s honking (hard to tell the difference in NYC).
I briefly panicked, glanced at my cosmic twin who nodded in encouragement and I continued. About five minutes later I said another thing that again, in past talks always draws some laughs, but there was nada, not even a twitter or a snort. Crap. This has never happened to me before, so I finally said: “tough crowd…you know you can laugh (and still be spiritual, I promise)”. And then they finally loosened up and laughed. It felt a little like I had to give them permission. There’s a very good chance I simply was not funny. Or, perhaps they were used to a certain type of spiritual humor and were not used to mixing the sacred and the silly the way I do. I dunno. I could very easily be exaggerating and/or making myself and this red bizness sound too special, unique and, gulp, “funny”.
The other possibility of this initial ho hum response at this group could be that red is simply not their cup of green tea, but I pushed on because I happen to believe that EVERYONE has a bit o red in them that’s begging for authentic release. In fact, I’m convinced that red has been so shoved into the corners not only of the world great religious traditions but also the human psyche that we all need a little or a lotta encouragement to let our red out, in ways that are misappropriate, laughable, and unique to each one of us.
This group is a truly wonderful group that I know (and soon experienced to) have lovely senses of humor, but the rough beginning got me wondering about a bigger issue that we all fall prey too once in a while - that of taking our selves and our spirituality and our rituals and practices and teachers and beliefs way too seriously. This lack of lightness can be a serious problem; it creates a tight, dense energetic space from which lots of holier-than-thou and know-it-all attitudes and even belligerent, violent, cold-hearted behaviors emerge. Too many of us (not to mention entire cultures and societies) link spirituality with moping seriousness. This simply could not be more wrong. I’m here to tell you, the divine has a wicked sense of humor, pretty dirty actually. Essayist Agnes Repplier said “Humor distorts nothing, and only false gods are laughed off their earthly pedestals.”
I certainly don’t think the red is above certain crowds, in fact, come to think of it, the red is definitely below most of them. I’ve noticed over the years that many folks who tread on the stiff side of spiritual intellectualism or spiritual correctness (as wonderful and brilliant and “spiritual” as they are) do not like to stoop to my level.
But, in the red realm, treasures really do lie beneath. The Bottom is the Top if you turn your self and your beliefs and your reality and your frown, upside down. The above makes love below. And one of Red’s favorite past times is rolling Heaven around in the dirt, all giggly and sweaty and naked – all preconceived thoughts turned Off, all newly received senses turned On.
I tend to get a little mistrustful of spiritual folks who are not willing to tickle the universe’s armpits - or let the divine tickle theirs - and have some fun. As the saintly Gandhi once said: “If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide”. We want to be careful not to become constipated mystics…all bloated and stagnant and full of ourselves. This warning includes me. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve stifled an authentic belly laugh at a serious spirituality talk or event because I thought it wasn’t proper. But enough of that. As I say in The Red Book:
“Of course there is a time and place for seriousness and for humor, but I just want to encourage you to look for humor in the sacred. See the hilarity in the holy. Loosen up. Tickle your beliefs. (They’re not meant to be carried around on a luminous silver platter, after all.) And don’t be afraid to let yourself rip on the cosmos. Being irreverent isn’t just for the sake of being witty; it’s often a necessity. Humor breaks up energetic clogs. It keeps things running smoothly. It makes the Booming Ha Ha Haw that much louder. And Goddess knows, we can ALL benefit from that.”
Now, by writing this post I mean no harm towards anyone who came to my recent red events. The funky beginning of that one talk simply inspired the rest of this post, which is in no way directed at them. I definitely met some truly lovely souls and delightful blog readers (and amazing fellow red woman, Gala Darling!), at my events and I’m grateful to everyone who hosted my redness…but I have definitely learned a lot from this past trip and I’ve decided to get proactive and create progressive changes with my work.
Redvolution Talks will from here on out require a 2 drink minimum.
Top that Deepak.
So how does humor flow in and out of your spirit? Do you ever censor your humor around certain “spiritual” groups or places? What role does humor play in your spiritual reality?
Drunk silly red monkey minds want to know….
July 6th, 2008 at 12:34 pm
Sera, are you ever onto something. Again. I don’t know about the other red peeps here, but I’m pretty sure that I avoided exploring spiritual matters after my final withdrawal from a mainstream denomination because of that perception of spiritual constipation. I find I’m much more eager to play with matters of belief if I can truly “play.”
As for “His ASS!!!!”, that’s probably what I would have said. Come on, the goddess practically handed that one to you on a big Waterford crystal platter. If you don’t take the shot when she served it up that nicely for you, it might be a while before she gives you another one.
July 6th, 2008 at 12:56 pm
i was recently writing about dream imagery and i edited out the part about the completely red-iculous messages I sometimes get through dreams…totally silly stuff, like dreaming about being surprised and disappointed that a cookie i thought was chocolate chip was in fact oatmeal raisin and the next morning being given a granola bar that i almost bit into before remembering my dream and noticing that what I thought were chocolate chips at first glance were actually raisins. perhaps i was concerned about not being taken seriously. dreams coming true is sometimes a strange story to tell. especially when the dream is about raisins.
point taken though. i think the whole northeast (which i live in) needs to loosen up in a major way! i’m going to work on lightening and loosening up. play has always been the best way to get down and dirty with my creativity and i want more of that.
happy summer to you! xox
July 6th, 2008 at 2:25 pm
We had just an amazing, terrific priest at my catholic church in my youth. He was a monsignor and he truly deserved the title. Before dimissal during one saturday mass, everyone was alarmed by the sight of a bat winging its way around the choir loft and above the altar. At which point Fr. John goes, “Don’t worry people, it’s just the holy spirit in disguise!”
Another time he was giving a homily and used the story of Jesus and the alduterous woman for comedic effect. “And Jesus said, “Let he who has not sinned cast the first stone.” At which point a rock goes whizzing past. Jesus lifts his head. “Awww Mom, not now!” He was later moved to another parish when I became older but I still remember his humor and wisdom and I am blessed to have known him.
July 6th, 2008 at 4:43 pm
Oh! Thanks so much for the mention. Kisses! But yeah, it was a tough crowd. Some of the questions people asked you made me want to roll my eyes so far back into my head that it would require a good smack to dislodge them… but I tried to talk myself out of groaning loudly by remembering that people can only ever speak from their experience. I guess a bunch of them had only ever had pretty solemn, buttock-clenching experiences!
July 7th, 2008 at 1:01 pm
My humor tends to flow after a few drinks or sometimes I think something is absolutely hilarious and no one else is laughing ah well I just chalk it up to most folks just not sharing what I think is funny.
Sometimes I will censor my humor in say a library or other places where people are so somber but for the most part I just let it rip.
I think that it should be mandatory that people have the ability to laugh at themselves and at a half way decent joke.
Just remember no one expects the Spanish Inquisition ok Monty Python reference (which I love the Monty Python) cue the music.
At least that should crack a smile or at least a chuckle from most folks.
July 7th, 2008 at 1:07 pm
Humor…I was told once by my rescue team up in Portland Oregon, as I was applying to be an officer, that “this team doesn’t want funny Hank as the commander!” “We like funny Hank at parties on off duty, but not as a boss!” I snickered, thought of 1 million jokes right then, (kept them too myself of course) and smiled and applied to come to California which was the best move I’ve ever made. And as far as my “Fruity La la” Side goes, the Universe has the greatest sense of humor in existence! Just look at the human species! My GOD they are funny! Don’t get me wrong, I’ve delved into some very serious situations over seas, in third world countries and have walked through the mucky muck of many societies! However, keeping a sense of humor throughout all these times, kept me grounded, loving and very spiritual! Trust me, I would have probably been the loudest one laughing, because I simply don’t care what other people think is or is not funny. I wouldn’t even have had to given a gratuitus laugh! I just find lots of stuff funny that most muggles don’t! Who do people think invented humor and best of all, LAUGHING! Ummmmmmm….God?
Glad to see you back!
July 8th, 2008 at 1:28 pm
Love it, love you. Love your sense of humor and irreverence! Laughter is a massage for the belly. And it’s the only form of sanity. Great posts, great blog! Glad I found you! I have to give up my blog name and was looking for a new one. Googled the name you use and discovered YOU in all your glorious redness. What a wonderful serendipity. You do justice to the moniker. I will find my new one in time. Glad the forces of love and humor in the universe sent me to yours.
Aloha (”that spirit we all carry within our being”)
A hui hou (”all will be right with the world and between us when we meet again”)
Beth
July 8th, 2008 at 5:24 pm
I think that a lot of some people’s lack of humor with spiritual subjects comes from insecurity. If one is insecure, they don’t like to be tested. Humor forces one to look at the subject in a new way, which is inherently testing. They are pushed to see the absurdity that exists in the universe and all spiritual systems and this makes them feel threatened.
There is another side to it as well. Some people who are spiritually insecure do the opposite–use humor as a defense mechanism. This helps to keep them from connecting deeply with their spirituality. These are the people who habitually use humor inappropriately, such as in a solemn part of a ritual.
The challenge is to become secure in one’s spirituality. The secure person can easily laugh at their spirituality in an open, Dionysian way. They also know when to be serious and open themselves to receiving what is being given by their spirituality. The real trick is to do both.
Thanks for writing such an interesting post.
July 9th, 2008 at 8:07 am
Oh Miss. Sera you have such a knack for revealing the truth in both it’s beauty and ugliness. Laughter is one of the most pure forms of meditation. Just remember that not everyone is ready to experience such a blissful occurence (for reasons that won’t be expressed to us).
Thank you for your courage to share with us your inner dramas… I wish you continued success and happiness my friend… Jai Ma!
July 9th, 2008 at 6:39 pm
Thank you so much for this post, Sera! I struggle with taking myself too seriously, and The Momma is continually showing me that spirituality and the sacred is not super-organized, clean, neat, and uptight. It’s messy, funny, and everywhere I tend to overlook. Thanks for the reminder to loosen up and play with Life!
July 14th, 2008 at 5:29 am
Humor is one of the paths we can take to free ourselves of the power we maintain over our own body and mind, as well as the imagined control we have over others.
Yesterday I was reading the work of a very generous being:
“There is apparently a close correlation between humor and the knowledge of oneself. Humor is a constatn challenge and irritant to the cloak of seriousness with which every power group in this world disguises its attempts at supremacy, monopoly, and domination.” (p. 79)
Muller, Robert. (2005). Most of all they taught me happiness. Los Angeles, CA: Amare Media.
July 15th, 2008 at 4:53 pm
How’s this for funny…I recently started playing with Stumble Upon and added your blog to my favorites and it was tagged as PORN! Is there another section here that I’m missing? The drunk red monkey butts just don’t quite do it for me
July 17th, 2008 at 5:09 am
I’m not sure I censor my humor anywhere, although sometimes it is contained to inner cheek biting and eyebrows wiggling to nudge heaven with their elbows.
August 15th, 2008 at 3:52 am
Try working in the online adult industry for six or seven years and see how hard it is to stifle a giggle at innocently-worded comments from the Socially Correct which have a whole different meaning in your own jaded brain. Everything shines with a different light when your work revolves around the Dirty Divine. Add to that a boyfriend who is spin-up to your spin-down, so you each know exactly what 12-year-old-adolescent monkey thoughts are running amok in the other’s head. There are lots of meaningful glances and nudging and trying not to disrupt… yeah, I SOOO know those crowds you’re talking about!
And as karma would have it, I’m also frequently the butt of cosmic jokes. The best example I have is when I was 19 I really wanted to find love. I thought I was ready for a real relationship. I missed the puppy love I’d experienced in high school and wanted something like that but more lasting. So I did rituals… I prayed… I made wishes at 11:11… I said “please God, I want to be with someone the rest of my life.” Then I got pregnant and had my daughter.
Another good example: I recently moved to San Diego. I made a list of the things I really wanted in my new place, wherever that was. I got everything on my list, but what I did NOT get was central heat and air. San Diego has beautiful weather, but who would’ve thought they build places out here with no heat/air conditioning? Well… I didn’t ask for it, right? Joke’s on me.
It’s all good though as long as you can appreciate the humor. And sometimes you just HAVE to laugh because it’s way better than being mad or frustrated.
August 24th, 2008 at 8:45 pm
Amusing. I want to read more. Will it be continued?